What can you tell an anxious child to calm him down?
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Almost all children go through moments of anxiety, even if we talk about activities on the agenda or about when they are in new situations. Sometimes, when the child's reaction is very vehement, you as a parent need to know how to manage it, but especially what to say to help the little boy become aware of the moment of anxiety, accept the consequences and then overcome it.
Do you know what to tell your child when anxiety shows up? We have some ideas for you!
What to tell an anxious child
- First and foremost, get him excited about the subject, with everything. Use expressions like "I can't wait to ..." or "I can't wait until ..." and maybe you'll manage to induce a state of expectation that will arouse his interest in what scares him, to see that he can overcome time.
- Always make sure you are with them, that you have your unconditional support, that you are an unbeatable team, with expressions such as "I am with you", "Together we can do anything".
- "What would you tell me how you feel?" - urge him to communicate, it is the only way to help him overcome anything, if he talks to you together you can identify what triggers his fear, and you can help him overcome the moment.
- "Do you remember when" - when the child is anxious, transport him with the thought at a certain moment when he felt safe and happy, to calm down and find the power to see beyond the moment. it scares him.
- "Draw air in the chest, breathe deeply and when you give the air outside you will drive away all bad thoughts" is a useful exercise, meant to relax it and offer an alternative to externalize its feelings so as not to consume it indoors.
- "And this will pass", although for him it seems beyond measure, assure him that it is only a moment of the many others that await him, which now seems something of proportion will become something minor compared to all the beautiful experiences through which he will continue. pass.
- "Tell me how I can help you", with this offer your child knows he has support, at the same time understanding that he chooses how to manage the situation and what solutions to choose. Let him choose, maybe he just needs a hug.
- "I know it's hard" does not minimize the situation, for the smallest fear is real, you show respect by understanding their experiences and giving them due importance.
- "What would it be like to choose a lucky talisman that you always need?" a talisman, a favorite addition, a crib, whatever you can think of and which can fulfill their need for comfort and provide relief, especially for the moments when it is not near you.
- "What it would be like to try to draw what you feel" - when the child does not want to communicate or does not know how to do it, offer him an alternative that will make you understand the situation better, it is even a method that he should unload.
- "What would it be like to rewrite the story and choose a different ending for it?" - probably the child's story is bleak and with a not too happy ending, help him see beyond what he already feels and realize that it is in his power to change things.
- Redirect your fear to something else: "let's hit this pillow like it's your fear." The child will be released emotionally and will shed his frustrations, until finally he manages to face his fear, as he hit the pillow.
- Take him in his arms, gather him and whisper to him "You are strong, brave and creative, you can overcome anything". List them and remind them that they have the qualities they need to deal with any situation.
- "Do you know when you managed to ...?" - give him confidence in him by reminding him how he coped with another difficult situation and how he managed to overcome the anxiety episode since then.
- "Let's get out of the air" take him for a walk, he will have the opportunity to disconnect, the movement relieves anxiety, he can try any sporting activity to his liking to relax.
- "I know how you feel, I would like to help you. I was in your place" - empathy is the basic element when you want to help the little one.
- "What calming strategy would you like to apply?", This means working proactively with the child and giving him the opportunity to choose how to handle the situation.
Anxiety and fear of failure are normal
Help the little one to understand that anxiety and fear of failure are normal! It is only natural that as a parent you want to provide protection, but try to avoid being overly protective. It is more useful for the child to learn to manage the situations that make him become anxious, rather than trying to keep him away from them.
If, in your turn, you are an anxious and extra-protective parent, there are very high chances to pass this on to the child. In this case, it is necessary to work on managing your own problems, then you will have the necessary tools that you can pass on to the child. Identifying anxiety-generating situations is the most important, but above all it is important to understand that these situations are also normal and should be treated as such.
The child must understand that failure is normal, anyone can face failure and is acceptable in the eyes of everyone. The little one must learn that he cannot control everything, but that despite this fact even the unforeseen situations can be overcome.
In conclusion, we have some useful tips for anxiety prevention and management:
- As a parent, with objectivity identifies the real cause of anxiety. Knowing exactly what the problem is, you will be able to manage it properly and find a viable solution with your little one.
- Give the child the idea that it is natural to have negative feelings, teach him to accept them, but especially to control them. If you allow the little one to see you and the vulnerable side he will not believe less about you, on the contrary, he will feel he has a partner with whom he can overcome any obstacles.
- Encourage the child to play a sport. Physical exercises keep away anxiety and depression.
- Spend time effectively with your child, try to find a balance between service and family. The lack of affection in the family leads to anxiety and depression in children.
You cannot lead the struggles of your child, but you can be allied with them in the stressful situations that cause them anxiety, whether it is advice, a good word, simply a long hug.
Tags Anxious child Anxiety children Anxiety child anxiety